This may sound strange, but downtime can lead to “down” time (down, here, meaning depressed).
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book Flow, discusses how an inactive mind often fills itself negative thoughts, what he terms “psychic entropy.” In an effort to ward of negative thoughts and feelings, people tend to occupy their minds with something, anything, to keep their attention from these unpleasant notions.
Csikszentmihalyi notes that most people (specifically Americans) occupy a substantial amount of their leisure time with watching the television (according to a Nielson study in 2006, the average American watched 4.5 hours of TV a day[1]) , which, according to Csikszentmihalyi, does little for the human psyche—as there is no challenge or reward in the passive activity of the mind (essentially the mind is in neutral). The reward in watching television comes in people’s ability to expend minimal effort while being able to keep their negative thoughts from creeping into the mind.
What might be an alternative?
Keep busy.
There are those who would disagree. Many people might think, for example, that we Americans are often too busy already. We spend forty plus hours at work and then fill our lives driving our children to piano lessons, soccer practice, play dates, etc.
I am such a parent (actually, my wife is). The resulting frenetic action leaves both of us exhausted. By Friday night, we’re dragging from so much activity that it takes both days of the weekend just to be physically/mentally able to return to work.
Yet some psychologists have linked being active with being happy[2], and, as the adage goes, “idle hands are the Devil’s tools,” so, in short, bumming around may sound like a dream for an exhausted mother, but too much bumming around 1) frees a mind to consider negative thoughts and 2) may lead to depression and/or boredom (psychic entropy).
The trick, then, is to keep busy doing enjoyable activities—something you feel you want to do, not have to do.
Try a few of these:
~Pick-up or return to a hobby: If you have a choice between watching the fifteenth rerun of a Seinfeld episode or taking up woodworking, try woodworking. If you already have a hobby but haven’t done it in awhile, dust off your skills and get busy.
~Reconnect with friends: Spend time socializing with some good friends. Meet at a local eatery and spend a couple of hours catching up.
~Play a board game with your kids: Instead of driving all over town in a mad dash to fill your children’s lives with every conceivable pastime, spend the evening playing a board game. My wife and I recently bought the board game Clue®. We’ve had a wonderfully fun time of connecting with the kids.
~Volunteer for a favorite cause: How much joy would you bring into another person’s life (and your own) if you spent a couple hours of time giving of your energy and effort to bring ease and comfort to someone else? I have volunteered hundreds of hours to special causes over the years, and it feels great. Pick your favorite cause and show up. They’ll put you to work!
~Read a book: Any book. Csikszentmihalyi has studied the difference in how people feel while watching television and while reading a book[1]. Books bring far more pleasure than watching the television. Pick a favorite author or a book you’ve heard a friend mention lately.
Filling your life with enjoyable activity is going to bring a new dimension to your life. If you feel the doldrums settling in, “get out and blow the stink off,” as my sister says.
Live Large!
Sources:
1. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper Perennial. New York.
2. Fordyce, M. The psychology of happiness: A brief version of the fourteen fundamentals. Cypress Lake Media.
Photo by: flik