Live-Large

This may sound strange, but downtime can lead to “down” time (down, here, meaning depressed).

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book Flow, discusses how an inactive mind often fills itself negative thoughts, what he terms “psychic entropy.” In an effort to ward of negative thoughts and feelings, people tend to occupy their minds with something, anything, to keep their attention from these unpleasant notions.

Csikszentmihalyi notes that most people (specifically Americans) occupy a substantial amount of their leisure time with watching the television (according to a Nielson study in 2006, the average American watched 4.5 hours of TV a day[1]) , which, according to Csikszentmihalyi, does little for the human psyche—as there is no challenge or reward in the passive activity of the mind (essentially the mind is in neutral). The reward in watching television comes in people’s ability to expend minimal effort while being able to keep their negative thoughts from creeping into the mind.

What might be an alternative?

Keep busy.

There are those who would disagree. Many people might think, for example, that we Americans are often too busy already. We spend forty plus hours at work and then fill our lives driving our children to piano lessons, soccer practice, play dates, etc.

I am such a parent (actually, my wife is). The resulting frenetic action leaves both of us exhausted. By Friday night, we’re dragging from so much activity that it takes both days of the weekend just to be physically/mentally able to return to work.

Yet some psychologists have linked being active with being happy[2], and, as the adage goes, “idle hands are the Devil’s tools,” so, in short, bumming around may sound like a dream for an exhausted mother, but too much bumming around 1) frees a mind to consider negative thoughts and 2) may lead to depression and/or boredom (psychic entropy).

The trick, then, is to keep busy doing enjoyable activities—something you feel you want to do, not have to do.

Try a few of these:

~Pick-up or return to a hobby: If you have a choice between watching the fifteenth rerun of a Seinfeld episode or taking up woodworking, try woodworking. If you already have a hobby but haven’t done it in awhile, dust off your skills and get busy.

~Reconnect with friends: Spend time socializing with some good friends. Meet at a local eatery and spend a couple of hours catching up.

~Play a board game with your kids: Instead of driving all over town in a mad dash to fill your children’s lives with every conceivable pastime, spend the evening playing a board game. My wife and I recently bought the board game Clue®. We’ve had a wonderfully fun time of connecting with the kids.

~Volunteer for a favorite cause: How much joy would you bring into another person’s life (and your own) if you spent a couple hours of time giving of your energy and effort to bring ease and comfort to someone else? I have volunteered hundreds of hours to special causes over the years, and it feels great. Pick your favorite cause and show up. They’ll put you to work!

~Read a book: Any book. Csikszentmihalyi has studied the difference in how people feel while watching television and while reading a book[1]. Books bring far more pleasure than watching the television. Pick a favorite author or a book you’ve heard a friend mention lately.

Filling your life with enjoyable activity is going to bring a new dimension to your life. If you feel the doldrums settling in, “get out and blow the stink off,” as my sister says.

Live Large!

Sources:
1. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper Perennial. New York.
2. Fordyce, M. The psychology of happiness: A brief version of the fourteen fundamentals. Cypress Lake Media.

Photo by: flik

Have you ever been in a bad mood and have someone try to make you laugh? I’m sure that you know, as I do, that you can’t be in a bad mood if you’re laughing.

Not only can laughter erase a bad mood but it also has a slew of other benefits. The University of Maryland Medical Center discovered that laughter can help:
• Reduce stress
• Lower blood pressure
• Elevate mood
• Boost the immune system
• Improve brain functioning, and
• Protect the heart [1]

In essence, any potential damage that can be caused by stress, depression, anger, or anxiety can be undone by laughter.

“The Doctor says, ‘You’ll live to be 60!’ ‘I AM 60!’ ‘See, what did I tell you?’”
—Henny Youngman

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
—Steven Wright

How many times do you laugh in a day? I mean really laugh…the laugh-from-the-belly-until-your-eyes-water-up kind of laugh.

Here are some suggestions for helping you experience a good laugh:

~Rent a movie that you know will make you laugh: It doesn’t have to be appropriate (as long as you’re watching it with others who share your sense of humor). My wife and I bust a gut while watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. This is a totally inappropriate movie (not for children), but Laurel and I often come close to peeing our pants while watching it.

~Buy your favorite comedian’s newest CD.

~Hang out with friends who make you chuckle.

~Read a funny book: If you don’t know which authors might be humorous, ask friends or the helpful clerk at Barnes and Nobel.

Better yet, how can you build a life around laughter? Try some of these ideas:

~Work on your sense of humor: You may not be the type that causes raucous laughter at the water cooler, but everyone can look for the humor in every situation. Those with good senses of humor look for what’s funny in the moment. Just be sure not to laugh at someone but with them.

~Lighten up: Being so serious can actually cause a heart attack (eventually). If you want to be happy and have a shot of living a long, healthy life, let the annoyances of life go. As the old adage goes, “Will this matter in a hundred years?” Learn to laugh at life’s vagaries.

~Be mischievous (to a point): Be quirky. Make stupid jokes. Play harmless pranks that make everyone (including the target of the joke) laugh.

~Seek out laughter: If you see people having a good time, join them.

~Make it a goal to belly laugh five times a day. If you haven’t almost wet your pants from laughter today, seek out an opportunity to do so. The search is well worth the effort!

Laugh to live, and live large!

Reference: www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

Photo by: craigallyn

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the progenitor of the concept of flow and author of a book by the same name, discovered that there are eight common components in every flow state.

The experience should allow a person to fully concentrate on the task. There should be clear goals to the effort, and the person should receive immediate feedback on the outcome of the experience. The task should be challenging but within the person’s ability to be successful while offering the individual a sense of control over one’s actions. Given all of this, the person should lose awareness of worries and frustrations; the person should also lose concern for self (though gain a stronger sense of self after the task is complete, and (given a true flow state) the resulting experience should alter the person’s sense of time (often by having time fly by—though slowing can also occur)[1].

Csikszentmihalyi has seen flow occur in people’s lives in nearly every facet of their experience. In fact, he sees few realities of the human experience where flow can’t occur.

How might you utilize the components of flow in your life? How can you make the evening commute home a flow activity? How can you make getting your children ready for bed a flow activity?

Here’s your challenge for the next week:

~When you’re at work this week, find a way of pushing the limit of your skills in some aspect of your performance.

~Set a goal for your free time that will absorb your entire attention. I recently painted my bathroom. It took all of my attention and effort to paint as perfectly as I could. The outcome was, if I may say so, wonderful. The bathroom looks great, and I have a sense of accomplishment.

~Find immediate feedback by hosting a party at your house. Invite a group of your friends over for a holiday get-together this weekend. Think of all that needs to be done before the party begins: shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. Once the party starts, you’ll receive immediate feedback on your efforts by how much fun your friends are having.

~Dust off an old hobby. What activity do you find absolutely engrossing? My son recently bought a puzzle. While I don’t like fifty-thousand puzzle pieces littering the floor, I do see him ardently working on the puzzle. He’s obviously enjoying his time.

Every day offers all of us perhaps the most valuable gift we will ever receive: time. Take the time and use it for all it’s worth (which, in the end, is exactly what living large is all about!). Don’t allow time to slip through your hands as you putter along in sleep mode.

Take the opportunity to do something distinctive, something engrossing. Imagine how much more enjoyable your life would be if you used your creativity and looked for ways to implement the eight components of flow in every activity.

Live Large!

Resources:

1. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper Perennial. New York.

Photo by: René Ehrhardt

The power of positive thought?—phooey! Try the power of action!

I want to loose thirty pounds (forty would be great). If I concentrate every moment of every day, aligning my energy to see myself as thin but I go out and eat an entire 16” pizza for dinner, calories will not vanish in accordance to my positive thoughts.

The true power of positive thoughts lies only in your mind’s ability to lead you to act in specific ways that correspond with your deeply held desires.

Action is the key to realizing goals, such as my desire to write.

I must take my desire to be a writer and put words to paper. If I don’t write, I am no closer to my goal.

Think about the power of action.

Action is a simple word. It means that you must do something. Align your actions with your goals, and you will make progress toward your aspirations.

Many people are astounded by feats of great achievement, but it is important to remember that great achievement only comes through concentrated action.

The point is that doing the work leads to results.

As I’ve said to my son more than once, “A quarter in one hand and a wish in another won’t buy you a soda.”

Try this:

1) Think about what you want.
2) Figure out how to make it happen.
3) DO IT!
4) If you don’t get what you want, adjust your actions to adjust the results.
5) Keep at it until you can…
6) Enjoy your just reward…☺!

This may seem simplistic, but it is the key to achieving your goal. Get off your duff and act!

Live Large!

Photo by: *sean