Live-Large

Following up on the article The Power of a Hug, now it’s time to learn about how to get a hug. Try some of these techniques over the next week. See how they work.

~Spread your arms wide and say “Ahhhhh,” as you approach.

~Announce that you really need a hug. If the people around you are at all kind, they’ll give you one.

~Pounce on someone you know won’t file a complaint of sexual harassment and give that person a quick hug.

~Ask the intended hugee if you could give them a hug.

Give it a try and see how it makes you feel, and come back and let us know how it went.

Note: Always hug responsibly, but don’t worry about the moderation.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com/photos/geekette/212455285/

Do you know someone who is always happy?

What’s your reaction to perpetually happy people? Is it something like, “Who died and made you the happy fairy?” or, “What the !*@# are you so happy about?”

What are they so happy about? Are they particularly blessed? Do they have everything they ever wanted in life? Is their life devoid of any struggle or trauma?

Probably not.

So what is it? What’s the secret?

Perspective.

Okay, I know that sounds simple, but it is as far from simple as I am from athletic. If it were so simple, no one would be unhappy. The world would be a Utopia.

So if it isn’t simple, how is it done?

If you want to be happy, you need to choose to be happy. If you choose to be happy, you have to look at the world differently. Don’t let outside circumstances control your life to the extent that you become miserable. If what you see makes you mad, sad, depressed, or confused, look elsewhere.

Here’s the technique. Mind you, this is not brain surgery, but it is hard to do.

~Notice your feelings.
~When you feel a negative emotion developing, stop what you’re doing.
~Note what is causing the negativity.
~Ask yourself if you can change it.
~If you can, change what is making you upset.
~If you can’t, let it go.
~Smile, whistle a happy tune, play peppy music, tell someone a joke. Do something—anything—that will make you and those around you smile.
~Do this over and over and over again until it becomes second nature.

Remember, just as grumpiness is contagious, so too is happiness. If you make yourself happy, others around you will do the same.

In all seriousness, there are thousands, dare I say millions of people struggling with depression, anger issues, or simple exhaustion from what is being required of them on a day to day basis. There are drugs, legal or not, that are used to dull the edge of this unhappiness. Life is not simple, perpetually giving and wonderful, but the mind is a powerful instrument. Used properly, it can and will change your perspective.

My fondest wish for you is that you’re able to be one of those perpetually happy people.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=joy&l=4&page=2

Flow: Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity[1].

Have you ever been in the flow? Do you remember what it was like to be totally immersed in an experience, feeling the power of focus and effectiveness?If you’ve experienced flow, what were you doing? What triggered the experience?

I have experienced flow, particularly while scuba diving or writing. The feeling I get is so encompassing and centering that I have begun to crave the natural high I get from the experience.

For me, flow states only come about while I’m doing something that I’m absolutely passionate about, but is there a way to trigger a flow state while going about routine activities? Can people train their minds to enter this higher state of energized focus?

Here is an assignment for the week. Choose one of the following activities and work toward learning more about the natural state of being in the flow.

~Learn what gets you into the flow: What gets you excited? What activities suck you in and don’t let go? What do you feel particularly passionate about? Do some self-reflection. List the activities. If you have a good sense of what you do to get into the flow state, you will be able to spend more time engaged in these activities.

~Seek clarity: If you know what you intend to achieve in an activity, if you have set clear goals and methods for succeeding at a task, your mind doesn’t need to waste energy concentrating on trivial issues. Your attention will be fully engaged in achieving your goal thus heightening your focus.

~Challenge yourself beyond the comfortable: Part of being in the flow is working at the edge of your ability. If you reach beyond what you feel you can achieve, all of your energy will be engaged in the activity-leading you toward being in the flow.

~Pursue activities that require living in the moment: I ride a motorcycle, and, while I’m riding, I am constantly scanning the environment, feeling the wind blowing on me, listening to the motor, taking in the scents of the environment. Losing focus on a motorcycle can be dangerous. It requires my full attention. You certainly don’t need to ride a motorcycle to find that same feeling of presence. Find something that requires you to be fully engaged in the moment.

~Develop your ability to concentrate: Do you think it possible to develop your ability to concentrate? Those who meditate find their ability to concentrate on their breathing expands with practice. Learn to focus on the task at hand. Work toward eliminating distractions. Not only will you find that you become more productive, but you might also find flow.

~Seek the flow in everyday activities: How can a lunch with your wife become an experience that gets you into the flow? How can you generate a flow state with spending time with your children? Try new experiences, operate at a level within a relationship that you have never tried or feel is just beyond your capability. Pay attention to your senses. Work to be more aware. If you don’t get to the flow trying one thing, try another. Keep working at it. See if you can create a flow state by approaching everyday activities with concentration and intent to transform that experience into something beyond the ordinary.

~Partake in new adventures: Is there something that has intrigued you for some time that you haven’t gotten around to trying? Take the opportunity to try out new activities or adventures. You might find a new passion and a new way of being in the flow.

Note: If you find yourself being in the flow, take time to recognize your success. Congratulate yourself. Relish the amazing rush of being in that state.

Finding the flow is a major goal of Living Large. Pursue the flow, whether it is while bowling or skiing, sailing or writing because it’s how life should be!

Live Large!

References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

Photo: www.flicker.com.photos/enmark/1344679411/

At work, I am an infamous non-hugger. It’s gotten to the point that it is a big joke, and people try to steal hugs from me when I least expect it.

My wife heard this story during the last staff banquet we attended. She knows a very different side of me. I hug my family members regularly. I even hug my most reluctant pre-teen son. While I know he feels goopy when I do, he’ll remember that his father hugged him often. My wife expressed this to my coworkers, and they were shocked.

The difference between the two environments is obvious. I don’t hug at work because I’m not sure the contact is wanted, and I don’t want to come across as a pervert or a stalker, so I have a fairly business-like demeanor at work, but I like hugs. In fact I need hugs.

I would argue that hugs are essential to my well being.

After doing some research, I discovered some fascinating hug facts:

Hug for a healthy heart~ Hugging increases Oxytocin (a heart healthy hormone) and decreases the stress hormone Cortisol (the hormone that leads to high blood pressure and heart disease).

Hugs lead to a lowered heart rate~ Hugs also provide a calming effect. Those hugged are shown to have heartbeats five to ten beats slower per minute than those who are not hugging.

Hugs are good for blood pressure~ Hugging reduces blood pressure (good news for those with hypertension).

Full body hugs stimulate the nervous system~ Full body hugs have been shown to increase nervous system stimulation. This has been used as a physical therapy technique by some professionals.

Hugs release beneficial natural chemicals~ Who needs an artificial high when a hug has been shown to release dopamine—a natural “feel good” brain chemical.

In addition to the physiological benefits of hugs, hugs are purported to lessen loneliness, combat fear, increase self-esteem (Someone wants to hug me!), affirm relationships, diffuse tension, and convey appreciation.

My absolute favorite reason to give or receive a hug, however, is just because it makes me feel so good. I could have had the worst day, and a hug from my children is enough to dispel my anger, fear, or anxiety. The next time you’re down, try giving a hug.

Now, I want to hear from you. How many hugs do you get in a day? What kind of hugs are they? How do they make you feel? Whom do you hug and why?

Now, it’s time to practice. Pick your favorite kind of hug from the following list or try them all:

~The Butt-out Hug: This hug is given to people you don’t know very well. It conveys awkwardness, but it is still a hug.

~The Lift-and-twirl: The lifter needs to be strong enough to lift the liftee without causing significant harm to the back. This is a particularly vigorous hug that conveys excitement and/or passion.
~The Half-hug: This hug is similar to the butt-out hug. It also has many variations including the burping action of patting someone on the back.

~The Hip-hug: This hug is given by standing side-by-side and putting an arm around the other person and giving a squeeze.

~The Full-body Hug: This hug is given to those you feel particularly comfortable with. It is given face to face with both arms wrapped around the person—no burping, just a firm but comfortable squeeze.

What was the longest hug you’ve ever given to someone? (Note: prolonged hugging while seated or laying down is considered cuddling or spooning and, thus, is not a true hug.)

References:

Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/mrpattersonsir/272350122/

www.sixwise.com
www.associatedcontent.com
www.eqi.org

“Live large!” my uncle extols at the end of every E-mail. This is a man who just had a lung transplant after staring death in the face for several months. He knew what he was facing, having just lost a brother to the same disease. In fact, three siblings and his mother had or has this disease, but he still ends every correspondence with “Live large!”

How can someone with so much trouble be so focused on living a full and fulfilling life?

There are people in this world who, while perfectly healthy, commit suicide. According to the American Society of Suicidology, over 32,000 people in the United States commit suicide, making it the 3rd leading cause of death[1].

Yet, here is a man facing significant health issues, and he is of the opposite mind: Life is so precious!

Certainly, every life has its disappointments, hardships, and challenges. Some lives, indeed, are brutally hard. If everyone experiences these challenges, what makes the difference between someone who continually strives to live large while others are in the pit of despair?

This site is dedicated to the pursuit of living large, of creating more love of life, of celebrating our existence and spreading that celebration, like an infectious disease, across the nation!

Do you want to have more joy? Do you want to experience more contentment? Do you desire to see the beauty of your life rather than the ugliness?

I do too.

Live Large is a philosophy for living. It is a call to pursue life with gusto. It is a habit of seeing the beauty in our world. It is the dedication to spending your life in the best way you can!

I invite all people who want to squeeze the best out of life to join me in this exploration, this search for the best life we can lead. Join the discussion, share your stories, ideas, values, and hopes.

Let’s start: In the last month, how have you lived large?

For you, Uncle Pete: LIVE LARGE!

References:
1. http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=21

Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/futureshape/2037704163/