Live-Large

There has been a lot of talk going on about the power of positive thought, of aligning one’s thoughts with what one wants so that that the universe will impart riches and happiness in abundance.

I struggle with this notion partly out of the belief that people don’t really know what they want (as the saying goes, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.”) and partly from the belief that action must accompany desire in order for any real progress to be made toward one’s goals.

Another significant concern I have with the power of positive thought is that it’s missing an important consideration. Rather than focusing on selfish wants, a person might be better served by considering what one has received.

While it’s true that into every life a little rain must fall, it is equally true that into every life a little sun must shine. In fact, what is initially seen as rain (misfortune) can, in reality, be sunshine (fortune). Take Christopher Reeves as an example.

The man was handsome, married to a wonderful woman, had a great career until…he was thrown from a horse and brought back from the brink death only to be paralyzed from the neck down.

For most, this accident would have been reason enough to slide into a deep depression, but, for Christopher, the accident became not a curse but an awakening. He went on to crusade for medical research on brainstem injuries. His stalwart, positive attitude and zest for life inspired millions.

For those who see the world from a negative perspective, however, even a blessing can be a curse.

I hate to admit it, but I had a negative attitude as I rolled into the winter holiday. In my profession, universities shut down over winter break, giving all employees several days (if not weeks) off from work.

I’d been at my new job at the University of Arizona for six months. I’d taken only one additional day off from work (other than the state recognized holidays), and that was spent taking care of my two daughters. I was getting a bit worn down. I needed a break.

On the cusp of getting a much needed break, I actually thought to myself, “It’s almost not worth having the time off for how quickly I’ll have to go back to work.” Crazy. I know. Here I had almost two weeks of downtime coming, and I was being pessimistic. Rather than relishing the time off, I was grumbling about it.

While this didn’t last long, it could have sapped the joy from my entire break. I know some folks who only got Christmas Day off. They went back to work the next day while I had time off of work. In fact, I know people who were laid off from work just before the holidays. At least I had a job to go back to.

My pessimistic perspective almost spoiled a blessing.

I know that we’re all human, that we’re all susceptible to negative thoughts and to indulging in self-pity, but being human doesn’t preclude people from learning how to be grateful.

In order to live large, we need to set ourselves to the task of learning the art of gratitude, but how can we do it? How can we all become more grateful?

Here are some ideas:

~Be conscious of your thoughts: Many thoughts can reside in our minds quite a while before we become fully consciously of them. I’d argue that most thoughts are not consciously dealt with but just pop into our heads willy-nilly and run amuck like an undisciplined two-year-old. Being aware of negative thoughts when they appear will allow a person to actively change that pessimism into gratitude.

~Scrub your mind of negativity: When a negative thought comes to mind, get rid of it. Think about something else—baseball, mom’s apple pie, anything but the negativity. Force the negativity from your mind. Even better, trace the thought back to its source and force that thought from your mind as well. Refuse to dwell on perceived losses.

~Count your blessings: We all have a portion of good in our lives. Recognize and celebrate your blessings. If you have your health, great! Count that as a blessing. If you have a loving family, great! Count that as a blessing. If you have nothing more than another chance to make a difference in this world, GREAT! Count that as a blessing.

~Meditate on gratitude: One of the things I most like about going to church is that it immediately triggers me to meditate on the many blessings in my life. As I quiet my mind, I’m able to see all the good that’s come to me in the last week. I’m not as good at making that meditative experience a daily habit, but, if I consciously set about meditating on what I’m grateful for throughout my daily life, seeing life from a grateful perspective would become a habit. Negativity would be shoved aside in favor of gratitude.

~Be around grateful people: People who are perpetually grateful are wonderful people to spend time with. They’re always happy. They always lift people’s moods. They’re just fun to be around. In contrast, those who are Debbie Downers sap energy, ruin moods, and make for crappy friends. Gravitate toward the grateful and ditch the downers.

The mere fact that you’re interested in living large is a great first step in the direction of living a grateful life. While changing from a negative personality to a grateful personality will take time an effort, the rewards will be amazing.

Live Large!

Photo by: CarbonNYC

One resource stated that 5 out of 10 people don’t say thank you when something nice has been done for them[1].

Five out of ten…half.

When was the last time that you bust your backside for another person? Did s/he take the time to say thank you? Was it said with enthusiasm? Could you tell that your efforts were truly appreciated?

If you weren’t thanked, did you feel as if your efforts had been taken for granted? How likely are you to jump up to help again?

Part of Living Large is being thankful for the good things that happen to you, being truly grateful when good things come your way.

Getting into the habit of thanking people for their kindness reminds us of just how many blessings we have in our lives.

Here are some ideas in the Gratitude Grab Bag:

~Practice giving gratitude: Here’s your task for the week—start simply. Thank everyone each time that they do something to make your life better or more pleasant.

~Say thank you with style! Don’t just say thank you; put some thought into how you show your gratitude. How about giving people a certificate for one favor done in return? Practice giving PDAs (Public Displays of Appreciation). Take a person to lunch as a sign of your gratitude; give a handmade thank you card; brag about their kindness at the water cooler; make a public announcement at the next staff meeting. Be creative (which only adds to the fun of being thankful).

~Thank people up the line and down the line: Can you think of any greater motivation for those you work with than to thank them for the hard work they’re doing? Pick out a particularly good effort that someone has put in lately and say, “Hey, I really appreciate how you did that! That was great work!” Then, sit back and watch that person’s spirit swell with pride and warm feelings. Thank your boss for the positive mentorship that s/he provided this week. Think of the positive emotional credit can you earn.

~Give back: What better way is there of saying thank you than returning the favor? If people have stepped up for you, step up for them. Return a person’s kindness with your time and effort. If you can’t repay the kindness right away, help someone else. Spread the wealth.

~Keep a positive balance in the gratitude bank: This is something that I learned from my mother. Whenever someone did something nice for her, she was quick to bake brownies or sugar cookies. She’d come bearing gifts along with a smile and a warm thank you. She’d spend a good deal of her own time to show people that she appreciated their work. Could you imagine how quickly people volunteered to help her the next time that she needed assistance? Okay, so you aren’t a baker, but how can you deposit gratitude in your bank with another person? Not only will people be more likely to help you in the future but also people will think great things about you (not to mention that you’ll think great things about yourself).

Let me hear it: What are some of your favorite ways of saying thank you?

Live Large!

Resources:

1. www.microsoft.com/smallbusiness/resources/marketing/customer-service-acquisition/the-power-of-saying-thank-you.aspx#Thepowerofsayingthankyou

Photo by: Lachlan Hardy