Live-Large

The power of positive thought?—phooey! Try the power of action!

I want to loose thirty pounds (forty would be great). If I concentrate every moment of every day, aligning my energy to see myself as thin but I go out and eat an entire 16” pizza for dinner, calories will not vanish in accordance to my positive thoughts.

The true power of positive thoughts lies only in your mind’s ability to lead you to act in specific ways that correspond with your deeply held desires.

Action is the key to realizing goals, such as my desire to write.

I must take my desire to be a writer and put words to paper. If I don’t write, I am no closer to my goal.

Think about the power of action.

Action is a simple word. It means that you must do something. Align your actions with your goals, and you will make progress toward your aspirations.

Many people are astounded by feats of great achievement, but it is important to remember that great achievement only comes through concentrated action.

The point is that doing the work leads to results.

As I’ve said to my son more than once, “A quarter in one hand and a wish in another won’t buy you a soda.”

Try this:

1) Think about what you want.
2) Figure out how to make it happen.
3) DO IT!
4) If you don’t get what you want, adjust your actions to adjust the results.
5) Keep at it until you can…
6) Enjoy your just reward…☺!

This may seem simplistic, but it is the key to achieving your goal. Get off your duff and act!

Live Large!

Photo by: *sean

Okay, so I was in a pretty foul mood this last Sunday. It seemed that everything was conspiring to tick me off. Ever have one of those days?

I felt like a big hypocrite, given the focus of Live-Large. Then again, into every life a little rain must fall. It is what we do with that rain (which came to me in the form of a foul mood) that’s important.

In my search for ways to live a happier life, I have learned coping mechanisms to reject the rancor that occasionally sours my mood, but none of them were working for me that day.

Some time after the fact, I looked back at my dark mood and tried to figure out what got me upset and what contributed to keeping me there.

~I couldn’t find space: I couldn’t find the space to allow the anger out and the calmness in. I felt barraged by lunacy on every corner (from bad drivers to my kids—who seemed determined to cause mischief).

~Mounting frustration: Since recently moving to Tucson, my wife and I have spent time trying to reestablish our lives. Things that we’d taken for granted in our last home (such as who to see for a hair cut or which church to attend) are just not working out here. I know that this takes time, but it’s occasionally frustrating. As we struggle with these issues, the frustration that I feel can catapult me into a bad mood, as was the case this last Sunday.

~Exhaustion: I painted my bathroom over the weekend. Actually, I’ve been working on that bathroom for a week, and it still isn’t done. The work is highly detailed and backbreaking. With my energy levels low and my pain levels high, I had a small window by which to operate without losing my temper. I was simply tired and needed a rest.

Once I was in my bad mood, I realized it right away. I could feel my jaw get tight and my face become flushed with my emotion. I also knew that the work of getting myself out of the bad mood rested squarely on my shoulders.

“I can do this,” I said to myself. “You know how to get out of a bad mood.” And I do…intellectually, but changing one’s state of mind is not always easy. In fact, it could be among the most difficult tasks a person sets about doing, but what’s the alternative…remain miserable?

When I finally got some space, both physically and mentally, I was able to begin decompressing. When I was able to sit down and rest, not only was I able to regain some energy but my resiliency to irritants also increased. The final piece, that of reestablishing the routines of my life, is going to be more difficult, but I know that I need to push through the occasional bouts of aggravation to find the peace of mind on the other side of that effort.

When faced with situations like mine, don’t kick yourself for how you feel. It’s important to accept that you can’t be happy all the time, yet it’s equally important to learn how to reject the anger and irritation so that you can reclaim your happiness and peace.

Live large!

Image by: Dan4th

Who would you rather be around: Big Bird or Oscar the Grouch?

Okay, I’ve shown my age by utilizing a Sesame Street analogy, but it’s true.

I would imagine that most of you would choose Big Bird.

Why, exactly?

• Big Bird is always cheerful.
• Big Bird makes everyone feel good about themselves.
• Big Bird makes people smile.
• Big Bird is simply pleasant to be around. No complaints, no arguments, no frowns.

Oscar is very different on the other hand.

• Oscar only sees the negative.
• Oscar speaks very gruffly.
• Oscar criticizes people.
• Oscar puts people into bad moods (aside from Big Bird)

Which are you more like, Oscar or Big Bird?

I used to work with a woman who smiled constantly. She always complimented people on what they were wearing, how nice they looked, etc. She had an infectious positive attitude that left the office feeling light as air when she came through.

I’ve also worked with a couple of employees who loved to complain and gossip. Whenever they entered my office, I knew the next thing out of their mouths was going to be a complaint. When they were done complaining (usually about a co-worker), they would then be terribly sarcastic toward other people, cutting on their appearance or other personal attributes.

Things got so bad that the way people interacted with them was dramatically changed. People didn’t trust them anymore. They were isolated to themselves. When I needed to get work done, I turned to the cheerful employee in my office because I knew she’d take on the work and smile while she did it.

The employees who were negative all of the time began to lose their opportunities. Promotion was questionable. Their negativity led to negative consequences for themselves, which only perpetuated their negativity. It was a downward spiraling cycle leading to self-defeat.

Did the woman with a smile ever face frustration? Sure! Did she ever run out of energy? Sure! Did we ever see it? No. Not once, but it had to happen. She made the choice, however, to look toward something positive, to bring cheer and joy into others’ lives. In return, she saw smiles on the faces of her coworkers. That had to help the stress and frustrations that she faced.

I wish I had one tenth of her energy and positive outlook, but, as I tell my children, if you have a wish in one hand and a quarter in the other, you won’t be able to buy a soda pop (i.e. wishes, by themselves, have no value).

To make the change from being Oscar to being Big Bird takes conscious effort. It takes censoring your thoughts and words and actions. It takes finding reserves of energy when you don’t believe that you have any energy left to give. It takes focus.

Here are some suggestions:

~Post reminders to remain happy in your office or workspace.

~Make it a point to say good morning or hello to everyone you know when you first see them…and smile.

~If you think something nice about a person, tell them.

~Conversely, if you think something negative about a person, keep it to yourself. Better yet, change the negative into a positive assumption.

~Practice making positive assumptions. If someone disappoints you, realize that they did the best that they could. If it wasn’t quite good enough, how can you help them do better? Look for the betterment of all the people around you. Positive assumptions make a world of difference.

~Don’t engage in gossip. If you hear someone gossiping and you have the courage to do so, confront them. If you don’t have the courage, walk away. If you can’t walk away, turn your mind to something more productive or try to steer the conversation to something more positive.

~Did I say smile?

~Smile, smile, smile. (This is particularly hard for me. My natural state of expression is neutral—or some think somber. I’m not upset, but it takes a conscious effort to smile unless I’ve heard something funny. I have to work at it, as some of you will have to work at it.)

~When asked to help, say sure! Don’t get roped into a dozen commitments that mean little to you, but if it is simple and easy and will help the other person’s life somehow, take the time to give the gift of your effort.

~Make a game of seeing how many positive strokes you can give to people you meet along the course of your day. Challenge yourself to add one to that number each day. How high can you go?

Part of living large is finding the joy in everyday life and bringing joy into others’ lives. A positive attitude goes a long way in making that a reality.

Good luck, and Live Large!

Photo by: CxOxS

Do you know someone who is always happy?

What’s your reaction to perpetually happy people? Is it something like, “Who died and made you the happy fairy?” or, “What the !*@# are you so happy about?”

What are they so happy about? Are they particularly blessed? Do they have everything they ever wanted in life? Is their life devoid of any struggle or trauma?

Probably not.

So what is it? What’s the secret?

Perspective.

Okay, I know that sounds simple, but it is as far from simple as I am from athletic. If it were so simple, no one would be unhappy. The world would be a Utopia.

So if it isn’t simple, how is it done?

If you want to be happy, you need to choose to be happy. If you choose to be happy, you have to look at the world differently. Don’t let outside circumstances control your life to the extent that you become miserable. If what you see makes you mad, sad, depressed, or confused, look elsewhere.

Here’s the technique. Mind you, this is not brain surgery, but it is hard to do.

~Notice your feelings.
~When you feel a negative emotion developing, stop what you’re doing.
~Note what is causing the negativity.
~Ask yourself if you can change it.
~If you can, change what is making you upset.
~If you can’t, let it go.
~Smile, whistle a happy tune, play peppy music, tell someone a joke. Do something—anything—that will make you and those around you smile.
~Do this over and over and over again until it becomes second nature.

Remember, just as grumpiness is contagious, so too is happiness. If you make yourself happy, others around you will do the same.

In all seriousness, there are thousands, dare I say millions of people struggling with depression, anger issues, or simple exhaustion from what is being required of them on a day to day basis. There are drugs, legal or not, that are used to dull the edge of this unhappiness. Life is not simple, perpetually giving and wonderful, but the mind is a powerful instrument. Used properly, it can and will change your perspective.

My fondest wish for you is that you’re able to be one of those perpetually happy people.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=joy&l=4&page=2

“Live large!” my uncle extols at the end of every E-mail. This is a man who just had a lung transplant after staring death in the face for several months. He knew what he was facing, having just lost a brother to the same disease. In fact, three siblings and his mother had or has this disease, but he still ends every correspondence with “Live large!”

How can someone with so much trouble be so focused on living a full and fulfilling life?

There are people in this world who, while perfectly healthy, commit suicide. According to the American Society of Suicidology, over 32,000 people in the United States commit suicide, making it the 3rd leading cause of death[1].

Yet, here is a man facing significant health issues, and he is of the opposite mind: Life is so precious!

Certainly, every life has its disappointments, hardships, and challenges. Some lives, indeed, are brutally hard. If everyone experiences these challenges, what makes the difference between someone who continually strives to live large while others are in the pit of despair?

This site is dedicated to the pursuit of living large, of creating more love of life, of celebrating our existence and spreading that celebration, like an infectious disease, across the nation!

Do you want to have more joy? Do you want to experience more contentment? Do you desire to see the beauty of your life rather than the ugliness?

I do too.

Live Large is a philosophy for living. It is a call to pursue life with gusto. It is a habit of seeing the beauty in our world. It is the dedication to spending your life in the best way you can!

I invite all people who want to squeeze the best out of life to join me in this exploration, this search for the best life we can lead. Join the discussion, share your stories, ideas, values, and hopes.

Let’s start: In the last month, how have you lived large?

For you, Uncle Pete: LIVE LARGE!

References:
1. http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=21

Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/futureshape/2037704163/