Live-Large

A friend of mine once said, “I am a good listener because I know I am a bad listener.” Seems like a paradoxical statement.

Most folks don’t give listening a second thought, unless it’s part of their occupation (such as counselors), but it is most definitely an aspect of living large.

Actively listening requires that a person live in the moment. It is giving to another fully; it is participating in a relationship. It is also very hard to do.

When was the last time you fully tuned into what another person was saying to you?

Don’t answer just yet. Let’s look at what it means to fully listen.

To fully listen, you must…

~Look at the person who is talking

~Not interrupt

~Not turn the conversation toward yourself

~Listen with the intent of understanding what the other person is saying

~Ask appropriate questions at the appropriate time (appropriate questions seek to clarify, probe for further detail, or promote further conversation)

~Quiet your own internal dialogue (shut down the voice within yourself)

~Eliminate distractions

~Focus your attention on verbal and non-verbal cues coming from the other person.

Now, back to the original question. When was the last time you fully tuned into what another person was saying to you?

Here is a little homework (it won’t hurt, I promise). Arrange for a time to talk with a significant other (friend, lover, spouse, parent, family member). Find a place where you can talk without distractions. Tell yourself that you are going to listen to your significant other, and begin.

Make a concerted effort to focus on the flow of their speech and body language. Practice active listening. Refrain from interrupting. Ask appropriate questions. Keep the conversation focused on them. Practice, practice, practice.

Internally, notice what effect your active listening had on the other person. What did your active listing achieve? What effect did it have on you? Was it easy or difficult? Did you discover some interesting things about your significant other?

Living large means being alive in the moment, capturing all of the good from the day, hour, minute. It means sucking the marrow out of life. Active listening is one tool to achieve that goal. Happy listening!

Live Large!

Photo by: Gaetan Lee

Whether you are an extrovert, like my wife, or an introvert, like me, all humans share one fundamental truth: we are social animals.

While the number of intimate friendships or relationships may vary by person, everyone has a core of essential relationships. These are the people who will remain a key part of a person’s life for a very long—sometimes life-long—time. Parents, siblings, love-partners, children, and (on occasion) BFF’s—best friends forever—make up the core of essential relationships for every person.

Part of Living Large is understanding the role that essential relationships have in promoting a healthy, happy life.

Think of the psychological/emotional harm done when you lose a loved one through death or disagreement. The pain and feeling of loss can be devastating.

Or, if an essential relationship is withering on the vine because of a lack of care and tending, a void will open in your life where that person once held a place.

Essential relationships let us know that we are important, that we have a place and a purpose in life. Our essential relationships pull us from self-absorption to participation in a web of life and community beyond ourselves.

Our essential relationships provide a catalyst for us to be self-less and empathetic, which, in the end, allows for feelings of worth, as we feel wanted and needed.

But remember, essential relationships take work.

The life’s blood of essential relationships is the mutual effort of all parts.

So, how are you doing with your essential relationships?

~Are you spending time with each of the important people in your life?

~Do you work to create new memories and to live in the present?

~Are you giving as much as you’re taking?

~Do your special people know that they’re special? When was the last time that you told them?

~Do you thank them (and your lucky stars) for their presence in your life? No one likes being taken for granted. Gratitude goes a long way!

~Do you remember to enjoy your time with them? These are the people who make you happy. Let the happiness into your life. Realize just how much pleasure they can bring you

~Have you invested in reconnecting lately? Do an inventory of the last time you’ve connected with your significant others. If some have gone lacking, reach out. Take your special person to dinner or give that person a call.

It is important to know who these special folks are. Don’t be tempted to spread yourself too thin. These are the people you can’t imagine losing, so understand their special place in your life. When you’ve found them, never let them go.

Live Large!

Photo by: basykes

“Live large!” my uncle extols at the end of every E-mail. This is a man who just had a lung transplant after staring death in the face for several months. He knew what he was facing, having just lost a brother to the same disease. In fact, three siblings and his mother had or has this disease, but he still ends every correspondence with “Live large!”

How can someone with so much trouble be so focused on living a full and fulfilling life?

There are people in this world who, while perfectly healthy, commit suicide. According to the American Society of Suicidology, over 32,000 people in the United States commit suicide, making it the 3rd leading cause of death[1].

Yet, here is a man facing significant health issues, and he is of the opposite mind: Life is so precious!

Certainly, every life has its disappointments, hardships, and challenges. Some lives, indeed, are brutally hard. If everyone experiences these challenges, what makes the difference between someone who continually strives to live large while others are in the pit of despair?

This site is dedicated to the pursuit of living large, of creating more love of life, of celebrating our existence and spreading that celebration, like an infectious disease, across the nation!

Do you want to have more joy? Do you want to experience more contentment? Do you desire to see the beauty of your life rather than the ugliness?

I do too.

Live Large is a philosophy for living. It is a call to pursue life with gusto. It is a habit of seeing the beauty in our world. It is the dedication to spending your life in the best way you can!

I invite all people who want to squeeze the best out of life to join me in this exploration, this search for the best life we can lead. Join the discussion, share your stories, ideas, values, and hopes.

Let’s start: In the last month, how have you lived large?

For you, Uncle Pete: LIVE LARGE!

References:
1. http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=21

Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/futureshape/2037704163/